So, I made it. I made it through the first day back, and I lost that hopeless feeling around 1. I was happy to see everyone but still felt lost - like everyone belonged there but me.
I actually shared my concern with my principal. He's retiring in December, and I will certainly miss his guidance. In fact, when he announced his retirement last year, I remember the depression beginning to set in. When I told him my concerns, he suggested that I look into administration. Ha Ha! Now, I think I would be a good administrator, but I have a small child and don't want to commit such an abundance of time to anything but her right now.
He says that he finds that most people need a change every 7 years or so. I agree - at least I'm certainly showing signs of needing a change. I just don't know what form that change should take.
On a positive note, it was really nice to think about something other than lunch or Blue's Clues today. Once my brain got used to working again, I was able to jump right in and go.
I really wanted to talk with some of the people who have been there longer than me. I want to know what keeps them in it. Maybe I'll find out.
Also, everything today seemed to point to a spiritual focus...work to live don't live to work...be the shining star in someone's life...find the star in the students...divine intervention...God's plan. I heard all these things today; I even woke up singing a song with the line "Come unto me...all who are weary...and I will give you rest...Bring your hurts, bring your scars, bring the load that you carry...and I will give you rest."
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